It is with much excitement that I write this post. I have just received a most exhilarating telegram from the son of the late Rev. Mbooty McTooty, a minister in colonial Africa. At the time of his death he was running an illegal diamond mine (quite a character from the sounds of it) and has over 10,000 of her Majesty's pounds that he has invested in England. His son is offering me half of this vast fortune in return for my help procuring the funds. It all sounds too good to be true!
Why, I can invest this money into my new subterranean burrowing machine that I need for my next adventure.
I also received a telegram for powdered Rhino horn to aid in matters of the bedroom. Apparently it will allow me to make my wife's eyes go counter-clockwise. Well, sir, I have no need for such assistance. It is wholly inappropriate to try and make a wife's eyes do that and I am sure Wortha would agree.