Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Sir Arthur Biggleswade, I presume

Whilst out on my morning stroll who should I stumble across but my dear old friend Sir Arthur Biggleswade. I'd not seen him since March when he'd left for Bolivia with a Treasure Map he'd bought off Chinese Bob. Imagine my surprise when I found his half-eaten remains in the park at Clerkenwell. Poor old Artie, he always did have the most unfortunate bad luck.

Saturday, 10 July 2010

Don't know what on Earth this is, but I found one nesting in my ear on Tuesday. It was the size of a tennis ball so quite tricky to dislodge. I think it must have crawled in there as a larvae whilst I was on some foreign trip. I just hope it hasn't laid any eggs in there.

Monday, 5 July 2010

Antarctical Adventurising

Have just regained the use of my fingertips after a nasty case of the old frostbite picked up on a recent expedition to the South Pole. It all came about after a few too many ginger beers at the Gentlemen's club where I had the grave misfortune of bumping into that infuriatingly successful Dunk Smurdellturd. We exchanged witty put-downs, of which I do believe I was the victor, and began our customary wagering. Next thing I know I was in Antarctica, without a coat and abso-bloody-lutely freezing. I never did make it to the South Pole, but stumbled across an Ice-kingdom ruled by a wicked Snow Queen who had enthralled a race of midgets. I managed to otherthrow the Ice Queen and break her evil spell bringing back peace and harmony to the land. It was quite the adventure, I can tell you. But my fingers are hurting from all this typing, so I'll have to tell you some other time as I am about to retire for the evening and shall have to put my fingers back in the special recuperative serum.

I've attached a photo Gavin took of me just before the Penguins attacked.