Friday, 29 October 2010

A little tinkerage.

Wortha has gone to visit an old family friend, Lord Adonis, at his country estate this weekend so I have been at rather a loose end. I've re-alphabetised my curio collection, buffed up my artefacts so you could see your face on them and cooked a Shepherd's Pie. And she's only been gone an hour.
She forbade me from going out on any fanciful expeditions this weekend as a man is coming round to fix the washing machinator so I'm just going to do a bit of tinkering in my lab and concoct a few potions from some left overs and then perhaps go out for a stroll in the woods and pick some mushrooms to make tea with. It's Hallowe'en weekend, I know, but I don't believe in all that superstitious mumbo-jumbo-hokery-pokery and I'm sure nothing of any interest at all will happen.

Monday, 25 October 2010

Old Photographs

Female Red-faced Dumple
Giant Drudge

I'm preparing to embark on a brand new adventure soon, so have been rather occupied recently. This morning, as I was contemplating which jacket to take i found these old photos in the upper-inside-left-down-a-bit pocket. They were taken whilst I was on my unexpected expedition in Lunkumshire. Ahhh, frightful memories.

Saturday, 16 October 2010

Uno adventurio, por favore.

Last week I went on a relaxing family holiday to the Costa Brava with my wife, Wortha, and Gavin, my faithful manservant cyclops. The hotel was adequate and the foreign food bearable, but by the end of the second evening the lack of adventure was growing tiresome. Fired up by a jug of sangria Gavin and I ventured out into the mountains to seek some excitement. It seemed like our foray was destined to end fruitlessly when a piercing shriek broke the silence of the cool night air. It was me. My foot had fallen down a pothole. On closer inspection, though, this was no ordinary pothole. It seemed to me to be the doorway to a magical kingdom. So I instructed Gavin to get out his trusty shovel and dig. Soon he had broken through to a vast cavern stretching for as far as our eyes could see. We made our way, gingerly, along the intricate maze of pathways hewn into the rock, by hands immeasurably older than ours. Indeed, the whole cavern was permeated with a sense of ancient mysticalityness. As we passed further and further into that dark place we both knew that something very special was about to happen...
Anyway, to cut a long story short, we found a lost race of Spanish Elfdings, were worshipped as gods due to our appearance fulfilling some ancient prophecy or what-not, got caught trying to steal their sacred crystals and had to flee for our lives. We made it back in time for the buffet on Wednesday evening and Wortha hadn't even noticed we'd been gone. Said something about Jordi, the Hotel's resident musician entertaining her all night long. I saw his show on the thursday night but must admit to not thinking it that effective.

Thursday, 7 October 2010

A thoroughly nice Echinoderm

I fancied a trip down to the Earth's Core again the other day to top up my Magma supplies and was told, by an acquaintance, to look up Ga'arth, one of the intelligent race of Holothurians that inhabit that strange land. He really was a very nice, well-spoken young blob. It makes such a change these days to encounter a gelatinous being with such impeccable manners. He took me on a brief tour of his city and we spent a very pleasant afternoon discussing all matter of facts. It was cut somewhat short, though, when a Giant Squid startled him and caused him to extrude his internal organs. He assured me he would be ok, but had to return to his lodgings to grow a new set.
I extracted my Magma and returned to the surface, where I was promptly mugged. Typical.

Sunday, 3 October 2010

Deep In the Murk

As an intrepid I've plunged some depths in my time, but recently I got the chance to try out my new rubberised suit at the the bottom of a very murky trench. The pressure was so great down there that sometimes I felt like my helmet was going to be squeezed flat. I didn't find the treasure I had been hoping for but did discover some new species of very ugly fish.
Along with this squelchy excursion I have been attempting to raise funds for my next Bewildering Adventure. As yet I haven't two brass farthings to rub together, but I'm hoping a trip to an Adventurers Convention may prove fruitful.