Saturday, 1 January 2011

Happy New Year!

Good Morning to all! Happy New Year!
Phew! What a night last night was. I trust you all had fun and enjoyed yourselves ushering in the New Year. My head is still throbbing and it pains my eyes to open them, so I am dictating this to Gavin, my TOTALLY COOL manservant.
Wortha and I went round to my Evil Next-door Neighbour, Professor Nefarious's's's party. It was packed with society's well-to-do. There were Lord's and Ladies, Councilors, Dignataries and more rich businessmen than you can shake a waif at. In fact, had a bomb gone off in there Britain would have lost a great deal of it's toffs, leaving the way open for an Evil Genius to overthrow the enfeebled Monarchy and take control of the country. For a while I wondered what Prof. Nefarious might be planning, but a few Gin cocktail's and a dollop of laudenum and I soon forgot what I was thinking.
The evening bore on with much fun and jollity, people were partying like it was 1899, and when Midnight approached the Professor ushered us all out onto his balcony to watch his firework display.
He employed the "Shock and Awe" technique popularised by the Americans in his rather extravagant display which brought forth many Ooohs and Ahhhs from the assembled audience. When the fireworks ran out, The Professor set fire to some orphans he had tied to sticks in his garden. It was a wonderful evening.
But, this morning, with my gin-induced malady still lingering, I can see the true machinations of that terrible mind and what he had been planning all along. The fire is still burning in the slums down by the harbourside and has already cleared two square miles of prime waterside upon which Prof. Nefarious plans to build luxury apartments. It seems he has given up being an Evil Genius and taken a route far more sinister. He has become a property developer. Already he has sold over fifty percent of the apartments to the well-to-do guests at his party last night.
As a new year begins I can only hope that perhaps, in the distant future, reform will take place and a fairer society will exist for all.


  1. Bertram, i'm very interested in getting myself a man-servant. What is it that makes Gavin so TOTALLY COOL?

  2. Oh! I hadn't noticed that... It would seem my man-servant has been embellishing his credentials.