Tuesday, 31 August 2010

The Lost City of Atlantis

Oh dear, Oh dear. I am feeling most unwell today.
Yesterday was a Bank Holiday and, as is usual on such occassions, I decided to have a little expedition. I took down my 101 Adventures To Do Before You Die book and flicked through the pages to find something exciting. There aren't many in there that I haven't already done, but one entry in particular took my fancy. Rediscover Atlantis! Yes, I thought... that looks like a fun little jaunt.
Gavin and I hastily prepared the necessary equipment and made some sandwiches and set off towards the coast. There was one only one thing that weighed heavy on my mind and was causing me some concern. No-one knew where the Lost City of Atlantis was! With only a single day set aside for this trip I was worried we might not find it...
So, with some trepidation we set off on a little submaricycle we had chartered, heading due West. After some time we took a right and then the next left and Lo! There it was! Atlantis! We got off the submaricycle and wandered around a little. It was staggeringly beautiful... unfortunately, in the hurry to leave I had omitted to pack my camera so don't have any pictures to show you. (Perhaps I shall draw some from memory at a later date)
We sat on the steps of the Grand Hall in the main forum and took lunch (through specially constructed eating hatches on our underwater helmets, before you get all nit-pickily) and marveled at the sheer splendour of it all whilst strange little fish swam around us. After that we got up and shoved as much treasure and trinkets as we could manage into our rucksacks and headed home. It was the best day I've had for a long time.
However, my good fortune was not to last. As we reached shore and began unpacking our finds into my carriage who should pass by but the infamously debauched Lord Arthwipe. I could see him eyeing my jewels and knew he was up to something.
"One is having a little get-together at my mansion this evening and would be most grateful if you could attend." He slurred.
I tried to think of an excuse, but found myself unable to do so. "Er, yes. Ok, then." I replied. Drat! Drat! Drat! I knew I was getting myself into trouble.
Lord Arthwipe suggested we all go round there straight away and soon we found ourselves at his sprawling estate. As the huge black doors slammed behind us Lord Arthwipe turned and said the words I had been dreading.
"Perhaps a little dab of Laudanum before the other guests arrive?"
Next thing I knew it was 4am and I was in Lord Arthwipe's barn massaging a pig. I also have some recollection of losing all my Atlantan treasure in a game of Gin-rummy. And I still can't find Gavin.
oooh, never again.

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